Letting People off the hook
My neighbor walks his dog, and his dog messes on my lawn, but I don’t grow bitter toward him, and begin to despise him and everything about him, because I really do like my neighbor, he’s a good guy. Insanely as it may sound to some, I don’t mind the dog messing on my lawn, and if the neighbor forgets to pick it up, I don’t write him off, never wanting to talk to him again. No, I later go and get my shovel and pick up the mess. Why should someone loving their dog and living in an apartment and taking their dog for a walk be such a point of contention for me? Well, it’s not. But for many people, they’d never drop it, they could not shake it. They’d think,” why should you make me pick up your dog’s mess. Don’t you have any consideration?” But there are other strengths in this neighbor, like the many times he’s fixed bicycles for us, and also cared for our foreign home-stay students, fixing their bikes as well and requiring nothing in return. This fella is a good hearted, good natured man, and to make him feel like his neighbor is his enemy, and for him to feel friction every time he looks at my house or walks past , how tormenting that would be for him, it would make him want to move. And there you have it, some would say, “that’s exactly what I want to accomplish, scaring the guy off, thus no more mess.” How much we’d end up missing out on, in these human relationships that can sharpen us and even benefit us.
You do not know if you are doing something that is inadvertently bugging someone. Are you so perfect with no blind spots, that you can just breeze through life, with no ill effects on anyone? Having good relationships and even reconciling on damaging issues is more important to me than having my toes stepped on, and making my point, like, “no one’s going to do that to me.” Who do I think I am? I have been forgiven so many times for so much, so how can I not extend a heart of forgiveness toward my fellow man? I can just write off the incident each time he causes offence, even up to 70 x 7. I can be stretched beyond my personality bent and my own personal need for justice, and stretched beyond my limited ability to just let it go, and choose to still appreciate my neighbor, and not be bothered by that continuous occurrence. My neighbor has so much to offer, there’s unknown advantage to the continued relationship.
He helped my sons get a job. Wow, there are many ways knowing him has complimented our family. Just to let you know, I write about this, not because I’m irritated by the ‘dog thing,’ but thinking about how others would be, and how uncommon or otherworldly it is ‘to not let it eat at me,’ and others need to hear this.
My son just parked in the middle of the driveway where you almost couldn’t get another car in the driveway, if he does it again, and again, should I just write him off, tell him to move out, never talk to him again? You can see how silly that looks. We’ve got to bear with the weaknesses of others, not just our family but beyond the borders of our homes. One area that we might be strong in, they are weak, and the area we are weak in, they might be strong. I have friends who don’t answer texts back in my timing, or even not at all, even when I ask a question, I think it’s just rude, but do I just write them off because of this personal offense? We would be writing everyone off for everything all the time if we went by that rule of thumb. We’ve got to let things slide.
People feel the world owes them something. “How dare any person, just being human, ever let me down.” Is my neighbor smudging my expectations of himself a mortal crime, unforgiveable? Oh, wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all thought like this? Of course I mention this facetiously.
My neighbor has brought me meals, from fish he himself caught, it’s worked visa versa as well, he’s come over for meat I’ve Bar-B-Q’d. But why throw away all that neighborly stuff, over something a shovel and trashcan can take care of?
I like my neighbor, and I know there’s even a chance that he could read this, and the fear that he’d misunderstand my using him as an example. But what a great example it is to all the neighbors of the world, that we’d let each other off the hook more for such small infractions, or the overstepping of some unwritten code. I know this will not solve all relationship problems, I realize there are neighbors that commit true crimes against one another, and that you might be hated just because you are who you are, but generally, it really is, such minute differences that lead us to cut people off, and it’s time to learn to give people a break. Bite your tongue, keep it in your heart, and don’t let it stew or boil over, but rather dismiss it. For this kind of honorable behavior, truly, if not the world, at least your neighborhood will be a better place for it.
