Prepare For Battle, You Are Being Attacked

Prepare For Battle, You Are Being Attacked

A good sister had a vision/dream quite a few years ago, that there were demons attacking my wife’s throat, right before her larynx, thyroid and now salivary gland tumor surgeries. In the dream I said, “keep on singing.” Well my wife is finishing a CD project she has been working on for almost 5 years or so. This will be a testimony to the Lord with great worship songs she has put together that will bless many.

It is disquieting in spiritual warfare how we are being watched stealthfully by the demonic realm, to see how we might be shut up and restrained in some way.

    

Ps 40:9

 9 I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness

In the great assembly;

Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,

O Lord, You Yourself know. NKJV

 

The king burned in the fire, Jeremiah’s prophetic scroll, but could that really stop the word of God? Paul continued to give the word in chains, but the word of God is not chained. When we are finally dead we will not preach any longer,  so I say, “we are not finished until He’s finished with us,” so we’ve got to “keep on singing,” keep on preaching no matter what may come our way. The enemy might try to close your mouth, stirring up exaggerated feelings of awkwardness, fearfulness, shyness or spiritual indifference, so you find yourself not being as effective in your witness for Christ as you’d like. But what if you are doing all that you can do, seemingly taking every opportunity for the word of God? I think the enemy is watching such servants and trying to squelch their voice, finding some method to put a clamp on it. Different people, different methods, but the same purpose, to hinder the gospel of Christ, and to slow down the expansion of the kingdom, to certainly put a stop to you.

Now back to my wife, she is under attack, the enemy is trying to use health issues to hinder her, to immobilize her, to distract her. As most of you who have enjoyed her teaching know, she has ump, she’s a fireball for the Lord (zeal), she says it like it is, but I want to proclaim to you in the midst of all the sorrow of dealing with a temporary battle called cancer, I believe, the gates of hell shall not prevail. I don’t think this is just my hopefulness, my love for my wife, or my overwhelming inner desire speaking louder to me than a pessimistic view that things could get worse. I know the Lord is in on this, for the good, no matter what. I know He gave Satan permission in Job’s case, in the Bible, to even put boils on his body, but God brought final restoration in a big way later in life.

My wife knows she has all eternity to spend eternity in, and she looks forward to that time. But, she only has one shot at this life, to roll up her sleeves in battle and walk by faith, raise children and soon to have a granddaughter, so she looks forward to enjoying what God has for her now. I would say that most people with cancer want to live, no one really expects getting that diagnosis, then picturing themselves dying young.

I know my wife wants to live and is going to put up the fight to be a survivor, so we might enjoy the grace of life together. I’m glad she doesn’t give up, and I confidently anticipate having my wife with me for a full life together. (the doctor has said that he believes the weight is on that side). This season will be beset by much suffering. But, as believers know, it purifies our faith like gold. When you’re going through the fire, putting it all in a future context doesn’t necessarily mean a lot at that moment, but when you look back in retrospect you can see how the hand of God was there, moving and working His perfect work. Later you might even feel thankful over certain things, that He allowed you to go through the time of barely having your nose above the water. At times now we might question things, like, where’s God, why God, what are you doing God, and we don’t have all the answers, but one day we shall know even as we are known by God

        

Job 42:3

 Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,

things too wonderful for me to know…….

 

5 My ears had heard of you

but now my eyes have seen you. NIV

 

I really don’t want my wife to go through this major combat, and using this conflict to help her know Him better, is entirely up to Him, but seems painful to me. We don’t understand all that He is doing, but we do trust Him in it. He is our high tower that we run to and are safe.

The devil has not and will not win! My wife is still teaching for Him. This weekend’s retreat maybe her last until the second surgery and recovery is over and the radiation is finished (but who knows). She still teaching a pastor’s wives study, and will do another video this week for the October study. The truth marches on, through her.

If  you are going through any grievous trials right now, look to Jesus, He loves you, and will carry you through. Lean on his breast in communing with Him. Draw near with a fully assured heart. Don’t be shaken from believing ‘He will never leave you nor forsake you,’ He’ll take you up when your closest allies flee.

Warfare can be long and tedious, we may have our weak moments, but we know Who wins the war!

Facing Any Fear With You

Facing Any Fear With You

My wife Maureen is worth so much to me, we’ll overcome life’s worst fears together. I'd lasso the moon for her. (a phrase from It's a Wonderful Life that I'd always tell her).

None of us want to go through trials. We can think of the worst things that can happen to us and it would make us want to run away. The possibility of that dreaded phone call in the middle of the night, about your loved one, just might send chills down your spine. The real world we are living in has many devastating things that can happen to you and I and those we know and love. Most of us desire to love life and see good days, because life is just a vapor for all of us. But what are we going to do when things seem to be going wrong, when our boat gets rocked, when we’ve got something paralyzing looming over us? Statistically there are seemingly endless bad things that may happen to us, and though most families will be touched by cancer at some time. But, knowing that doesn’t take away the sadness in receiving a very troubling diagnosis of cancer, let alone this rare kind that feeds on your nerves. With one surgery down another one is coming, and this one will be quite extensive to say the least. Imagine having a number of varying facial nerves cut and half of your jaw bone taken out on the right side (with a metal plate for reinforcement) and that part of your face being numb for life, in order to be given a normal life expectancy.  My lovely wife will need to surrender herself to the doctor’s demands. I’m glad that she is willing to do what it takes to live, I definitely want her to live, and I can’t imagine her being pulled away. Why is she the one that has to go through this ordeal, I ask, I'd take it in a heartbeat. But the Lord has His purposes in all the evil we go through. It’s comforting just know He has a plan for His glory, even in our most horrific trials on earth. He is always with us, even through the valley of the shadow of death. In trying circumstances, we fear no evil for He is with us. Those are satisfying words, during such grievous times.

My wife will have to go through six weeks of radiation daily, minus the weekends. After the surgery and a prescribed radiation treatment, which I hope will annihilate this alien mass. This is an ugly corners we find ourselves backed into, unpredictable and outside of our control, but the Lord is travelling the unpaved road with us. His rod and His staff they comfort us all along the way. We get to draw closer to Him in ways we’ve only read about, but now will know for ourselves.

I was happy to hear the doctor say that my wife will still be able to sing and teach. Praise God, the enemy will not have a victory in this area! My wife received at word in the middle of the night, to look up verses on war. Wow, there are some good verses for the believer on this subject, here is a great one I found for her.

Deut 20:1

 When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. NIV

It’s a joy to see how the brethren are so encouraging with verses, with hope, with love, with empathetic and compassionate hurting hearts, with practical helpfulness. What a blessing to be a part His a body when troubled times come. Sometimes for us Christians it can be a bit awkward in trying to minister in such situations, we may even eminate our worry, but are well intentioned and God uses our willingness to demonstrate His love.

My wife felt a bit like hiding in our room during her recovery period from the first surgery, and pain meds were bringing her down. At times like this, your own bed can make you feel secure. But, since my wife is also very social, there have been church family freely dropping by to say hi, in fact there are 3 here right now.

My kids have all handled these things differently. It’s interesting the gamut of feelings and responses a person goes through when things are weighing heavily on the heart. We’ve got to try to be patient with one another. I remember one time when I was 18, when our family home had a big fire, the upstairs had engulfing flames coming out of the windows, the neighbors were standing around watching the blaze, and my family ended up staying at a hotel for several months while the insurance company and contractors were restoring our home. A family can be irritable and testy living with such tension in close quarters. Stressful times on families are a call to prayer. That was not an specific comparison to my family now, I just wanted you to get a feel for it.

Have you ever wondered “how do people go through things like this without the Lord?” It’s so sad when things look contrary to hope, but I’m very blessed my family knows the Lord and has anticipation of future good. He always gets us through everything and there is good hope, no matter how bleak things sound after having heard some hard core facts. God is bigger!

As believers we want to handle burdensome mind blowing events with His wisdom and strength, desiring our responses to be honoring to Him, with the final outcome having been able to be a witness for Christ. As a pastor and his wife, people watch us, possibly thinking, “what is this couple made of, let's see how they handle this. Will they trust the Lord?”  What I preach is, “keep your eyes on Jesus know matter what, and never doubt His goodness.” Our eyes on Jesus will be or consistent practice.

This morning when I was hiking in the hills by our church, I was reading this section of scripture,

1 John 5:14-15

 14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that  if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. ESV

When we hear verses of scripture like this, during ominous times, we wonder if it’s going to work like that for us. However God chooses to answer our prayers, I know that He is not absent, but hears and is personally working in and on our every situation, even when it looks like He isn’t. I want to tell you that today my wife needed a boost in prayer and she asked the Lord to help her find a safety pin and guess what, after not having been able to find one, the Lord put a picture in her mind and sure enough when she looked, it was there. This might sound kind of insignificant to some, but there are times we just need one of those little assurances that God is intervening.

It’s amazing how verses just jump off the pages during those dark nights, how almost everything in the word is just what you needed to hear. Verse after verse, Christian song after song, it’s as if the writers knew people were going to go through hard times. (I think somewhere it said, “you’ve been called to this.”)  

My wife has a good longterm outlook with her low grade tumor (which much of the 3cm carcinoma is still in her neck even now, attached to the nerves which it feeds on). She's at stage 2 and the doctor is going to do all he can do to make sure my wife has a normal lifespan. But this is going to be a lot of work with much suffering. She will need His peace that passes understanding to guard her heart and mind.

It will be hard for me to see my wife feeling anguish after this next tough surgery, but I know the Lord will give me the grace to walk through it with her, giving her tangible comfort just being there, being His hand extended to her.

My wife was so thankful today that the X-ray of her chest didn’t show any spots (mets), therefore it didn’t travel to the lungs, though she has to be watched carefully the next 10 years for this possibility. This gave her great relief as she was concerned for the future of her family and her friends. I wanted to be equally thankful, but the information overload from a two hour meeting with our Oncologist, (who is a believer too) was still weighing heavily on my heart (contemplating the seriousness of this surgery) so I couldn’t soar to the height of gratitude that she was presently at. I want to view things ever so clearly, and see things through His eyes, so I can learn to be on the same page as her through all this. But of course, this is His work, and He does a lot of deep things in our hearts to bring us to the right place.

So where are we heading with this? Are we going to dig a hole and hide our head? No. Our shared goal is to fight this battle and overcome the war that is rising against us. In Jesus mighty name, “Oh, Lord, save us! For we trust in You." He has brought us to this hour and He will get us through. What a mighty God we serve.

The Next Big Thing

The Next Big Thing

Jer 30:12-13

 12 "For thus says the Lord: 'Your affliction is incurable,

Your wound is severe. 13 There is no one to plead your cause,

     That you may be bound up; You have no healing medicines. NKJV

 

Isn’t it familiar, when you are hoping for a “bless me” verse, the reading you happen to be on is a section like this, “your affliction is incurable.” How funny, it’s nice when you are more mature in the Lord and understand the context and aren’t taking it as a battering from God. But, God does speak to us in our misery and woes and He has compassionate words for us. “A bruised reed He will not break and a smoking flax He will not quench.”

 

In all honesty, my wife and I have been through some astronomically big things in the last year and half. If there were to be a book written, minds would be blown away at the spiritual warfare, much more than people even know who have been in the know, and part of our smaller sphere of prayer warrior friends. Maybe if you've read a Christian fiction book like The Screw Tape Letters or some Frank Perretti novel, you'd kind of get it. It wasn’t just one event advertised publicly as a bad report, but there were other diabolical things beyond that evil that would lift eyebrows and cause people to shake their heads in disbelief as to these kinds of unusual warfare actually happening to servants of God. But, our story is anything but fiction, from hearing the “Jewish council” agreeing with His accuser and provoking others to crucify Him, so this kind of real scenario happens even today. The enemy is sometimes allowed to have his heyday with us. We’ve thought about the average size of our church, and the smaller impact we are having on the kingdom (as far as we could see) and wondered why we’d receive such large attacks, but as others have said, “He must have something bigger in store for you.” (whatever that might mean). We definitely learn obedience and compassion through the things which we suffer.  God has kept us in tact, and we have functioned well with our ministries, marriage and lives in the midst of wild and rough warfare. What is some of God’s plans for us? That we look to Him and see His plan unfold, that we remain steadfast, immovable, always abounding in our Lord’s important work. Not allowing the assaults to throw us off track, take us off task or lead us down some wrong path incited by deceptive distraction. Like the magicians split second slight of the hand, the enemy tries to use the things He’s been allowed to throw at us, to redirect us away from the goal and aim in God’s design for our lives and His kingdom.

Well there was another doozy that we sort of braced ourselves for but still hit us out of left field. As my wife is recuperating from her neck surgery and the removal of a carcinoma tumor, she gets the unwanted information of a long road ahead of her with all the treatment she’ll need. This kind of doctors report is somewhat devastating. How do you schedule this into your life? This wasn’t part of the hopes or plan for the future. What is the Lord holding in all of this? He always does deep things in our hearts through everything we go through, and as you’d know, these things are more than refining.

Are any of us ready to have our future put on hold? Are we able to handle the fact that even if we get past this, we’ll have to have check ups for the next 20 years with anticipation of hearing the same bad things again. This was another big one, the next big thing cast upon our lives. It’s a good thing the Bible has the book of Job in it, or some of us would wonder why such negative things happen to Jesus' committed followers. If any of us knew ahead of time what that next big thing was going to be, we most likely wouldn’t be able to handle it, it would probably scare us to death, but when it really does come, God gives us the strength at that time to endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

My wife is a trooper, she was able to minister to myriads of ladies and even praying with one concerned about a possible upcoming cancer report, without even mentioning anything about herself, just being ready to minister to someone else. I remember one time, when my wife was extremely sick, and the pastor’s wife at the church she was speaking at could not get another guest speaker to replace Maureen, so she valiantly laid flat on her back ontop the stage and taught the ladies event from that position. At one point she went out of the room and performed the eye popping experience we’ve all had with a stomach virus and she went back in and kept on teaching. Some would say this is crazy or even wrong, but for the few who have had these kinds of responsibilities and judgment calls to make, they would understand the decision to keep on sharing for the Lord in the midst of personal trouble. Even Paul and Silas while bleeding and in shackles, sang at midnight in the prison and preached the gospel to the prison guard.

How will my dear wife undergo this? How will she stand in the midst of feeling shaky? Will she have much left to give others? The answer is, the Lord gives us another dawning of a new day, with new hopes, challenges and opportunities to trust in Him. He is there for us at all times. He is a very present help in time of need. We only need to cling to Him, for He is the anchor of our soul both sure and steadfast. With Jesus as our cornerstone and foundation we’ll never have the rug pulled out from under us. He upholds us with His righteous right hand and He is the lifter of our head. We can always find encouragement in Him and His arm is never too short that it cannot save.

My wife has good friends who bring food, help clean, sit by her and love on her. But in a trial like this you still tend to feel alone in some ways, like Elijah who said, they have killed all the prophets, I alone am left. But we find that we have a company of angels around us, and the glories of worshipping on Mount Zion at the feet of Jesus, and bringing us into the heavenly realms, as the things of this world begin to grow into a dreamlike blur. My wife wants to hear His voice above all the other noise around her, above the diagnosis, above the ‘what ifs,’ and more louder than her own jabbing thoughts. With His voice, His own sheep hearing His voice, she will have the peace of God that passes all understanding, and her heart and mind will be guarded in Christ Jesus. Oh, that peace like a river, oh the sweetness of basking in His tender care and strong arms. Yes indeed, leaning on the everlasting arms! “We lift up our eyes to the hills from whence does our help come from, it comes from the Lord,” He lifts our heads above the water, takes us through the fire and brings us to a broad place, beyond the tight squeeze we’ve been in, beyond our style being cramped and our plans undesirably changing. A new place where we might even dance with Him in intimacy, just Him and the one He loves, a special moment, a private time, one on one angelically choreographed to dance as David danced, not for joy of the ark of God having come to town, but for the realness of a covenanted relationship, with the Lord Himself dancing with His bride. As He walks up to her, bowed low, with her head down, with fears, approaching her, touching her and saying, fear not my courageous daughter, taking her hand and beginning the dance, far better than the most glorious ballroom scene you could ever envision.

In the midst of our darkest times we find out how beautiful He really is. Things like elections, earthquakes in far away places and other commotions don’t seem to matter as much, when you are seeing His face and He becomes magnified in the midst of a time where you are decreasing. “Oh, Lord, give my wife the flowers, from the meadows of Your love, hold her tightly and help her to feel secure in the inner strength of Your might. Put your right hand under her head and draw her close to You. I know Your keeping power on the one You love is better than a thousand friends or even a well meaning husband. “Lord, please rescue her, bless her, guide her faith, and sweep her away in your love, high above all enemies that would seek to strangulate her and silence her powerful witness for You.” Your intervention is the only thing that will truly bring the answers to all of our prayers, which nothing else will do. “    

Ps 16:11

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy;

At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. NKJV

A Day to Remember

A Day to Remember

When we married we said phrases something like, "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part, so help me God." I know vows have morphed a bit over the years, but the basic content remains the same. Promises to love and cherish one another not knowing what life's years may bring. Today, our week long anxiously awaited (on my part) diagnosis of my wife's tumor in her salivary gland, came via a phone call from the doctor saying, "I have some bad news," then apologizing. Cancer has touched almost every family, but you can't fully brace yourself for those words when they are coming at your bride that you've committed to for life, and you're both still in your 40's, upper I'll tell you, but still young enough and serious enough about the Lord to feel like you've got a lot of life and marriage left to turn the world upside down as a team for the Lord.

At first my wife received the news with grace and great strength, but as the prayers, Facebook messages, sad hearts and loving well wishers mounted throughout the day with the greatest of intentions, and my lovely wife began to read about adenoid cystic carcinoma and the future effects there can be, some sadness began to well up in her heart and manifest itself with tears. She is strong but she doesn't want to be the center of attention and make others sad, especially our 19 year old who called with tears in his eyes. But, God has displayed us as apostles, condemned to death, as a spectacle to men and angels. For some reason as He looks upon His work and people on the earth, He decides at times that this person (these people), need to be displayed, so He might display His mighty works for others to see.

As my wife is just getting over the first surgery and now anticipating a second one, with pain still a regular occurance in the scar, in the throat and the surrounding area of the jaw, to even think of reopening a fresh and painful wound once again is a lot for the mind to wrap itself around.

Tonight I saw a church member at the store who prayed for my wife. I shared with her how clumsy I've been. Myself having splatterd something on her shirt, and then taking a paper towel and wiping it off of her and her neck, not considering the wound. "Oh, Lord, help me to not be so absent minded in trying to minister to my wife, through this ordeal, wherein she needs tenderness and thoughtful care, from a husband who is more nurselike than awkward."

She has had to take off time from work, from teaching English as a second language and her role as a fitness instructor as well (leading zumba). She's still full scheduled ahead in ministering to women's groups in the body of Christ, and in some ways remaining busy can be a blessing, but in other ways it's not necessarily possible to do it all. The Lord will guide and circumstances will also lead in what to cut back on and what to continue. But, myself as that spiritual leader of my family, need to know how to properly lead my wife (the weaker vessel) in this personally uncharted territory.

We have such a great life together (heirs of the grace of life) inheriting a lifespan with all of it's experiences, blessings and trauma. After the surgery last week, I shed a few tears in letting my thoughts run ahead a bit (probably some good processing of the whole experience and our fragility, and potential scenarios). Today, I had a sentimental moment but held myself back from proceeding with any emotion, because even though I do need to think things through and feel things on this front, I presently need to remain steady and with a level head to continue strong for my wife so I can be there for her during her hour of darkness and weakness.

I do love her and want to come alongside of her, if I could take it for her I would. But, mostly rather than being one of Job's comforters with lots of generalized answers that aren't necessarily led by the Spirit,..... I just want to listen, hug and say the wisest things, to infuse strength and courage. She's a great gal and I am bearing her burden. What more could a husband do? Well, I'm certain I will find out. And I hope to be the best at it I can be.

It's hard for a husband when you hear your wife tearing up, oh, how we want to make things just work out, but we can't, somethings only Jesus can fix. That is why we need to commit all serious things to the Lord, going before His throne of grace to find the help in time of need. One thing my wife and I know, even in our fallibility as people, and in one of our more vulnerable seasons, we know that God is good, that Jesus loves us, and greater is He that is in us. When things are changing and uncertain, even unpredictable, we run to what we know, and fall into the arms of Who we know, the Author and Finisher of our faith. He will never let us down, He has shown Himself to be faithful, time and time again, and He won't fail us now.

How do we walk through this valley of the shadow of death, and see Him enlightening our darkness? We do so by knowing that He is with us and He will be our guide even unto death. Now I don't say that because I believe this situation is unto death, but it is sobering, it is something designed to do a greater transforming work into the character of Jesus, it has within it the pursposes of God, not that He caused it, but that He works it together for our good, according to the counsel of His perfect will for our lives. Nothing gets past Him, and this is woven into the tapestry of God's plan for our ministry, our marriage, our family and in all God is doing with us. Do we thank the Lord for this? Certainly. For He always brings beauty out of ashes, the oil of joy out of mourning and the garment of praise out from the spirit of heaveniness.

I might abhor this kind of trial, it might be rather treacherous for my wife, but, we can have peace and rest in our hearts knowing He is there, He is with us, He will never leave nor forsake us. To know that He is hearing, that He is not turning a blind eye but is actively involved in the life of His daughter, my wife, and He will be lifted up and honored through our sufferings. Nothing will be wasted, and it is working for us something that is far greater.... than not going through this could have done. Do we understand His purposes completely? No. But do we trust Him? Yes.

In sickness and in health, I am committed to the one I love, to the one I married, to the one who said YES to me, during our horseback riding date, as I was giving her a ring and tripped on a log as it was rolling out from under me. God joined us together, the two became one.  If God be for us, who can be against us, and shall tribulation separate us from His love? Certainly not. We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus, and I fully believe we shall triumph over this spiritual battle. We'll go through it, but we'll come out as gold. The storm may rock us, but our eyes are on the Lord, and with that, we can't miss what His hand is going to do. Today was a day to remember, the first of many on this new course with the wife of my youth, but Jesus is in the driver's seat and His grace will be there as we travel this road.