Facing Any Fear With You

Facing Any Fear With You

My wife Maureen is worth so much to me, we’ll overcome life’s worst fears together. I'd lasso the moon for her. (a phrase from It's a Wonderful Life that I'd always tell her).

None of us want to go through trials. We can think of the worst things that can happen to us and it would make us want to run away. The possibility of that dreaded phone call in the middle of the night, about your loved one, just might send chills down your spine. The real world we are living in has many devastating things that can happen to you and I and those we know and love. Most of us desire to love life and see good days, because life is just a vapor for all of us. But what are we going to do when things seem to be going wrong, when our boat gets rocked, when we’ve got something paralyzing looming over us? Statistically there are seemingly endless bad things that may happen to us, and though most families will be touched by cancer at some time. But, knowing that doesn’t take away the sadness in receiving a very troubling diagnosis of cancer, let alone this rare kind that feeds on your nerves. With one surgery down another one is coming, and this one will be quite extensive to say the least. Imagine having a number of varying facial nerves cut and half of your jaw bone taken out on the right side (with a metal plate for reinforcement) and that part of your face being numb for life, in order to be given a normal life expectancy.  My lovely wife will need to surrender herself to the doctor’s demands. I’m glad that she is willing to do what it takes to live, I definitely want her to live, and I can’t imagine her being pulled away. Why is she the one that has to go through this ordeal, I ask, I'd take it in a heartbeat. But the Lord has His purposes in all the evil we go through. It’s comforting just know He has a plan for His glory, even in our most horrific trials on earth. He is always with us, even through the valley of the shadow of death. In trying circumstances, we fear no evil for He is with us. Those are satisfying words, during such grievous times.

My wife will have to go through six weeks of radiation daily, minus the weekends. After the surgery and a prescribed radiation treatment, which I hope will annihilate this alien mass. This is an ugly corners we find ourselves backed into, unpredictable and outside of our control, but the Lord is travelling the unpaved road with us. His rod and His staff they comfort us all along the way. We get to draw closer to Him in ways we’ve only read about, but now will know for ourselves.

I was happy to hear the doctor say that my wife will still be able to sing and teach. Praise God, the enemy will not have a victory in this area! My wife received at word in the middle of the night, to look up verses on war. Wow, there are some good verses for the believer on this subject, here is a great one I found for her.

Deut 20:1

 When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. NIV

It’s a joy to see how the brethren are so encouraging with verses, with hope, with love, with empathetic and compassionate hurting hearts, with practical helpfulness. What a blessing to be a part His a body when troubled times come. Sometimes for us Christians it can be a bit awkward in trying to minister in such situations, we may even eminate our worry, but are well intentioned and God uses our willingness to demonstrate His love.

My wife felt a bit like hiding in our room during her recovery period from the first surgery, and pain meds were bringing her down. At times like this, your own bed can make you feel secure. But, since my wife is also very social, there have been church family freely dropping by to say hi, in fact there are 3 here right now.

My kids have all handled these things differently. It’s interesting the gamut of feelings and responses a person goes through when things are weighing heavily on the heart. We’ve got to try to be patient with one another. I remember one time when I was 18, when our family home had a big fire, the upstairs had engulfing flames coming out of the windows, the neighbors were standing around watching the blaze, and my family ended up staying at a hotel for several months while the insurance company and contractors were restoring our home. A family can be irritable and testy living with such tension in close quarters. Stressful times on families are a call to prayer. That was not an specific comparison to my family now, I just wanted you to get a feel for it.

Have you ever wondered “how do people go through things like this without the Lord?” It’s so sad when things look contrary to hope, but I’m very blessed my family knows the Lord and has anticipation of future good. He always gets us through everything and there is good hope, no matter how bleak things sound after having heard some hard core facts. God is bigger!

As believers we want to handle burdensome mind blowing events with His wisdom and strength, desiring our responses to be honoring to Him, with the final outcome having been able to be a witness for Christ. As a pastor and his wife, people watch us, possibly thinking, “what is this couple made of, let's see how they handle this. Will they trust the Lord?”  What I preach is, “keep your eyes on Jesus know matter what, and never doubt His goodness.” Our eyes on Jesus will be or consistent practice.

This morning when I was hiking in the hills by our church, I was reading this section of scripture,

1 John 5:14-15

 14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that  if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. ESV

When we hear verses of scripture like this, during ominous times, we wonder if it’s going to work like that for us. However God chooses to answer our prayers, I know that He is not absent, but hears and is personally working in and on our every situation, even when it looks like He isn’t. I want to tell you that today my wife needed a boost in prayer and she asked the Lord to help her find a safety pin and guess what, after not having been able to find one, the Lord put a picture in her mind and sure enough when she looked, it was there. This might sound kind of insignificant to some, but there are times we just need one of those little assurances that God is intervening.

It’s amazing how verses just jump off the pages during those dark nights, how almost everything in the word is just what you needed to hear. Verse after verse, Christian song after song, it’s as if the writers knew people were going to go through hard times. (I think somewhere it said, “you’ve been called to this.”)  

My wife has a good longterm outlook with her low grade tumor (which much of the 3cm carcinoma is still in her neck even now, attached to the nerves which it feeds on). She's at stage 2 and the doctor is going to do all he can do to make sure my wife has a normal lifespan. But this is going to be a lot of work with much suffering. She will need His peace that passes understanding to guard her heart and mind.

It will be hard for me to see my wife feeling anguish after this next tough surgery, but I know the Lord will give me the grace to walk through it with her, giving her tangible comfort just being there, being His hand extended to her.

My wife was so thankful today that the X-ray of her chest didn’t show any spots (mets), therefore it didn’t travel to the lungs, though she has to be watched carefully the next 10 years for this possibility. This gave her great relief as she was concerned for the future of her family and her friends. I wanted to be equally thankful, but the information overload from a two hour meeting with our Oncologist, (who is a believer too) was still weighing heavily on my heart (contemplating the seriousness of this surgery) so I couldn’t soar to the height of gratitude that she was presently at. I want to view things ever so clearly, and see things through His eyes, so I can learn to be on the same page as her through all this. But of course, this is His work, and He does a lot of deep things in our hearts to bring us to the right place.

So where are we heading with this? Are we going to dig a hole and hide our head? No. Our shared goal is to fight this battle and overcome the war that is rising against us. In Jesus mighty name, “Oh, Lord, save us! For we trust in You." He has brought us to this hour and He will get us through. What a mighty God we serve.