Sometimes trials can seem insurmountable, and we don't see how things might get better. What's before us is alive, real and kicking. When we do as the scriptures tell us, to mount up with wings as eagles, to run and not be weary, we end up getting a perspective that we would not have seen had we just been looking at the wind and the waves and the water filling the boat.
My dear wife Maureen went to the pathologist yesterday and got the report on her big surgery, what we had been looking for, the word was still, "clean margins." There were some uncomfortable words said, at least to myself, like, 'we found cancer in a lymph node and on some of the soft tissue,' but the answer to that was, "it was a successful surgery." Anything the human eye could see, with special magnifying glasses during the surgery, was cut out.
I had my list of questions to ask, probably more than the average person, and the doctor got a bit worried about me that I was thinking things too far ahead. Actually I was asking very exact and to the point questions about the surgery and pains that were presently being felt and what that might mean. But in his explanation about my potentially taking things too far, I could see that he was helping us understand how we should be looking at things from this point onward. "If the margins that were cut out during surgery were tested and all came back clean, then just hold onto that, go to the next step, readiation, and leave it in the hands of the Lord." It's so nice to be reminded of the basics from a Christian doctor.
Regarding this kind of cancer having the tendency to return, even in 60% of his patients, the push was toward the positive, she's alive and she needs to just live. Get through the present diffulties and when a clean bill of health comes in December or such, just appreciate it, and live as a cured person. You get it, don't worry about the future. And truly we have been casting all of our cares upon Him, knowing that He cares for us.
When you are put through such a horrendous trial, you can't help but let your mind wander sometimes, and with this, the seriousness of what you are facing sets in. But, what can any of us do but pray and trust. God has never let us down and never will, no matter what the future holds.
My wifes birthday was yesterday and the one thing that she felt would be a great present was if we all prayed together, my two sons, two daughters and myself. Well, they have all been off doing their own things lately, but to have them together each praying for her, even the laying on of hands, and each praying for something personal in their lives as well, you could see this was the perfect gift to an easily satisified wife. Last night we all sang happy birthday to her, along with our two Chinese students staying with us, and you should have heard it, like something out of the tryouts for American Idol.
Presently my wife is dealing with an impediment in her speaking, but even with that, the doctor said, don't worry about it until after you are finsihed with radiation. All of this gave my wife some needed perspective. She was able to step back for a moment and find a new way to take things in and interpret all these things she was going through, a new bird's eye view.
I knew my wife had been struggling with an inner need for hope, especially after the surgery. She asked friends to pray, and sure enough, she ends up having hope begin to surface in her heart again. Truly, He has been a light in her darkness.Thank God for hope in the midst of discouragment, hope in the midst of the unknown, hope when much of her before cancer life seems to be diminishing.
It's interesting how things like this bring people out of the woodworks. An old friend reconciled their relationship with us. People have such different responses, a few didn't want to see Maureen because they were afraid they'd start crying, very understandable. Others cringe at medical things and so have kept at arms distance. Her situation has reminded others and magnified in their hearts their own problems and issues, and others have been too busy to take any notice, but for the most part, there has been an outpouring of love and freiendship like you've never seen. I am thankful for all who have shown their sacrificial words and deeds of love in multiple ways.
We shall prevail, one way or the other, because God is reigning on the throne of eternity. I hope as you feel the pressures of this life coming your way, you will cling to the Lord with all you've got. Never take your eyes off the author and finisher of your most holy faith. We don't always understand His working, the ways he does or seemingly doesn't answer prayer, our feeling close or distanced from Him. All is in His loving hands and we just need to know He is strengthening us and working no matter how dreary or long a day and season may look to us.
One day cold winter shall all be over for all of us, and when all is said and done, the question is, what did we do with Jesus during this life? He is the one who died on the cross for our sins, and rose from the dead, because death had no power to keep Him in the grave.
May we all just be empowered from on high to be His witnesses and let men, women and children everywhere know to repent, be baptized and be filled with the Holy Spirit. If any one of our situations brings about the opportunity for us to share the love of Jesus with someone, that is enough to make it worth it, no matter how personally painful the dreadful trial may be.
Come quickly Lord Jesus. Amen!
John Schaffer
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Pleasantly Surprised
Pleasantly Surprised
My wife had gotten this word that the Lord had dropped into her spiritual ear, "you're going to be pleasantly surprised." Whatever this fully meant, who knows, but it definitely sounded good. A word like that helps you to anticipate better things. After meditating on a few discouraging words, a bit of uplift goes a long way. It's so nice when God speaks, and He is never silent. Worst case scenario portrayed as even more fearsome than before, but we quickly gravitated toward the her doctor's hopeful words of the surgery going more quickly and less intrusive. The mystery is upon us and what will God choose for her? The clock ticks and hope abounds. So many friends on the edge of their seats. Even at this same time yesterday my brother in law with three younger sons underwent a successful and specialized open heart operation. He's in ICU now, the bleeding hasn't stopped yet. She mentioned the stress and to hear my sister's quivering voice was sobering, but still she prayed with me for my wife.
The dynamic or the incremental?
What great verses there are in the old and new testaments about the mighty miracles of God, and we are not wrong for anticipating God to act in that way. No doubt, the hand of God seen in our life's situations helps us know He is here. But, when things don't go quite like we expect, these let downs do not mean God is absent or is powerless. For every person who recieves a miracle there are others who would say that they prayed and nothing noticeably happened.
Just as much as He can perform a dynamic miracle, He also works in more incremental ways. The God of the big things is also the God of the small. He makes majestic mountain ranges as well as fields of tiny flowers. both are beautiful and both reveal His handiwork. The Book of Dueteronomy teaches that God's people could not take the land at once, but rather "little by little," otherwise it might be too much for them.
We love God who parts The Red Sea, but Jesus who makes water into wine, is not any less mighty. If you do not get a parting Red Sea but only see water turned into wine, know that these smaller things are also His detailed involvement in His child's life. We've had so many living saints praying for our family and especially for my wife in her affliction. What are the visible results? Up to this point I believe God is giving peace in the calm, before the backside of the hurricane passes by. All the blatant love of the brethren, has been a powerful touch from the Lord. God's sustaining work in the midst of getting our boat rocked is awesome. His carrying His lambs in His arms, is so sweet. We know and can see that He is very personal in the "He is God," moments, but also just as much Divine in His quieter, more incremental moving of mountains. He shows Himself strong toward those whose hearts are loyal to Him. Our stability in Him has not been shaken, and in undeniable ways He is in the storm. He's in the boat of our lives, as the water is pouring in and we are feeling insecure, yet He is getting us to the other side, just as He promised. Maureen's precious Savior has ministered to her deepest concerns, she is filled with His Spirit, and clinging to His strong arm. He will never disappoint her and she will never be ashamed. Putting her continual trust in Him there are no regrets in looking back.
What a day will bring forth
My dear wife said she has all eternity to spend eternity, but she wants more time here. She really loves life. In fact she has a great life, a wonderful family. As an example of this, our son willingly withdrew from Bible College to be there for his mom during her recovery and treatment.
After 5 weeks since her first surgery, the big day is upon us, Maureen's second surgery is happening. This is the medical means necessary to do the job. Maureen had gotten a word from the Lord that when she awakes after surgery to "embrace the pain," meanin cancer has been cut away, just as when He hung on that painful cross, sin had been done away with. This word from the Lord comforts me, and I believe she'll make it through this, really well.
Two weeks ago we sat with a group of doctors that were factual but dismal. Telling us without the greatest tact that she'll most likely die from this cancer. We thought this depressive spirit might have been the spirit of the L.A. area. On the drive home we both had some tears. I cried mostly because I was sad that she was sad. There have been several times when she was awakened at 4 in the morning, her mind running in several directions, weeping for a moment, with me curled at her side, feeling a few tears down my cheek. There is something about a wife crying that really gets to the heart of a husband. No matter how tough the exterior, no man wants his wife to feel sad, so I think. At times when telling somebody something about Maureen a sad chord had been struck, my eyes appearing watery, and then those drives alone in the car, when think of the what ifs, I can feel a few tears well up. There are some sentimental moments for these things weighing on a husband's heart. We feel the effect of the prayers that we are being carried on His wings. I'm probably more of a typical guy in prayer, compared to what I should be as a pastor, I don't always pray as long or as passionately as I've seen some sisters pray, but I am praying and no matter the outcome, we know God is with us.
What is God doing through all of this? His plans and His ways are higher than ours, but one thing for sure, He's with us. It's amazing how the body of Christ can rally in times of distress. I know there have been believers that have had a surgery and no one was there to bring a meal, I know that there have been brethren that have had hardship and no one was there to lift a helping hand, and this is tragic to say the least. But, I do know that when you serve the Lord, and when you are friendly you will have lots of friends. My wife has brought many a meal over the years and now she who has refreshed many, is herself being abundantly refreshed.
We know that the initial stages of this has brought a lot of attention, but many who have ACC (adenoid cystic carcinoma), continue for 5, 10 and some for up to 20 years, and with this the seriousness of a dreaded disease can wear off and the mutitudes begin to die down, just like when we have a loved one who dies, everyone gathers around in heartfelt sympathy, but a month later the decline is markedly obvious. In all actuality I do hope that this is the way it goes, I hope Maureen is able to go on and on, though still potentially carrying about in her body some destructive cells, yet people forgetting and going on with life and Maureen riding through the storm with flying colors, and then, forget death, the rapture occurs! Now, that would be great. I truly do want to live the rest of my life with her. Having dated as Christians, the Lord having put us together in provable supernatural ways, making it very clear that this was a team for the Lord. Not every relationship has or needs that, but ours special in the Kingdom for His purposes. I want to keep on enjoying my marriage with Maureen, I want to keep on being used by the Lord together. Oh yes, I'm a goofball at times, I've got my flaws, but greater is He who is in me. My love for the Lord and strength in Him, with no confidence in the flesh is what carries me on. I can't imagine life without the one I love. She is my better half, she has helped civilize me, she definitely brings the balance when needed. I know the Lord is growing me through my wife and her wisely coming alongside of me as a helpful bride, praying me up to par. I need those prayers, so she's got to stick around just to keep me in line. But, of course, God alone knows the future, and we trust in Him and are helped. I'm looking forward to a long life together and being used to even a greater capacity to help others know they can have a great marriage too.
Manifest Strength
1 Cor. 4:9 For, I think that God has displayed us, the apostles, last of all, like men sentenced to death. For we are made a spectacle to the world, both to angels and men. (world english bible)
God does display certain of His people, so others may see and learn from their lives. My wife Maureen right now is on display as she has become the center of attention because of a disease called cancer. Many know about her present plight, and many expressively love her. They who have heard her potently share His word and have had the blessed opportunity of being around her vivacious personality, know that she is a strong woman.
Prov. 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. NIV
But, does being a woman mean you can go through something treacherous like this, unscathed? Obviously not. In our human weakness and lack of understanding as to what it means to have her life turned upside down, there are a multitude of human emotion. Will I get to see my grandkids, how will my family handle this, etc? The waves billow over you, the tears come, the thoughts rush to the forefront of your waking hours. The early darkness of dawn has a lonely place in it and the stomach has its own fragility in handling the flood of tripiditious thoughts as she is learning to trust in Him with something so new and unknown, unexpected and violent.
I like being married to a strong woman, though a few times I have enjoyed her being a bit needy, seeing the little girl inside, drawing from her strong and comforting husband. But, my wife truly does have an inner strength, nurtured along and having progressed in the fertile soil of constant praise and prayer, always looking up, living in the face of her Savior, alert to an eternal perspective.
I heard a tell her, "you're so strong," and my wife reponding, "you are seeing His strength." She knows how weak she is and her dependence on the Lord allows His strength to be manifested for others to see. I know we have both felt beat up, we've both had to process this on multiple levels, serious news from authoritative sources. We didn't really know the kind of giant we were facing. But, she got on her female boxing gloves and has been ready to fight for her life. It's painful but Lord willing, fruitful.
We've received some good words from others, that say, "she's going to be O.K., don't worry." Hoping this is from the Lord, but what does O.K. really mean? Paul's friends begged him not to go to Jerusalem, even saying words from the Spirit like "chains await you," but how much of their not wanting him to go, was influenced by their love and fears for him? But of course his famous statement in Acts 20:24 sums it up, "
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus--the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." NLT
My wife had gotten this word that the Lord had dropped into her spiritual ear, "you're going to be pleasantly surprised." Whatever this fully meant, who knows, but it definitely sounded good. A word like that helps you to anticipate better things. After meditating on a few discouraging words, a bit of uplift goes a long way. It's so nice when God speaks, and He is never silent. Worst case scenario portrayed as even more fearsome than before, but we quickly gravitated toward the her doctor's hopeful words of the surgery going more quickly and less intrusive. The mystery is upon us and what will God choose for her? The clock ticks and hope abounds. So many friends on the edge of their seats. Even at this same time yesterday my brother in law with three younger sons underwent a successful and specialized open heart operation. He's in ICU now, the bleeding hasn't stopped yet. She mentioned the stress and to hear my sister's quivering voice was sobering, but still she prayed with me for my wife.
The dynamic or the incremental?
What great verses there are in the old and new testaments about the mighty miracles of God, and we are not wrong for anticipating God to act in that way. No doubt, the hand of God seen in our life's situations helps us know He is here. But, when things don't go quite like we expect, these let downs do not mean God is absent or is powerless. For every person who recieves a miracle there are others who would say that they prayed and nothing noticeably happened.
Just as much as He can perform a dynamic miracle, He also works in more incremental ways. The God of the big things is also the God of the small. He makes majestic mountain ranges as well as fields of tiny flowers. both are beautiful and both reveal His handiwork. The Book of Dueteronomy teaches that God's people could not take the land at once, but rather "little by little," otherwise it might be too much for them.
We love God who parts The Red Sea, but Jesus who makes water into wine, is not any less mighty. If you do not get a parting Red Sea but only see water turned into wine, know that these smaller things are also His detailed involvement in His child's life. We've had so many living saints praying for our family and especially for my wife in her affliction. What are the visible results? Up to this point I believe God is giving peace in the calm, before the backside of the hurricane passes by. All the blatant love of the brethren, has been a powerful touch from the Lord. God's sustaining work in the midst of getting our boat rocked is awesome. His carrying His lambs in His arms, is so sweet. We know and can see that He is very personal in the "He is God," moments, but also just as much Divine in His quieter, more incremental moving of mountains. He shows Himself strong toward those whose hearts are loyal to Him. Our stability in Him has not been shaken, and in undeniable ways He is in the storm. He's in the boat of our lives, as the water is pouring in and we are feeling insecure, yet He is getting us to the other side, just as He promised. Maureen's precious Savior has ministered to her deepest concerns, she is filled with His Spirit, and clinging to His strong arm. He will never disappoint her and she will never be ashamed. Putting her continual trust in Him there are no regrets in looking back.
What a day will bring forth
My dear wife said she has all eternity to spend eternity, but she wants more time here. She really loves life. In fact she has a great life, a wonderful family. As an example of this, our son willingly withdrew from Bible College to be there for his mom during her recovery and treatment.
After 5 weeks since her first surgery, the big day is upon us, Maureen's second surgery is happening. This is the medical means necessary to do the job. Maureen had gotten a word from the Lord that when she awakes after surgery to "embrace the pain," meanin cancer has been cut away, just as when He hung on that painful cross, sin had been done away with. This word from the Lord comforts me, and I believe she'll make it through this, really well.
Two weeks ago we sat with a group of doctors that were factual but dismal. Telling us without the greatest tact that she'll most likely die from this cancer. We thought this depressive spirit might have been the spirit of the L.A. area. On the drive home we both had some tears. I cried mostly because I was sad that she was sad. There have been several times when she was awakened at 4 in the morning, her mind running in several directions, weeping for a moment, with me curled at her side, feeling a few tears down my cheek. There is something about a wife crying that really gets to the heart of a husband. No matter how tough the exterior, no man wants his wife to feel sad, so I think. At times when telling somebody something about Maureen a sad chord had been struck, my eyes appearing watery, and then those drives alone in the car, when think of the what ifs, I can feel a few tears well up. There are some sentimental moments for these things weighing on a husband's heart. We feel the effect of the prayers that we are being carried on His wings. I'm probably more of a typical guy in prayer, compared to what I should be as a pastor, I don't always pray as long or as passionately as I've seen some sisters pray, but I am praying and no matter the outcome, we know God is with us.
What is God doing through all of this? His plans and His ways are higher than ours, but one thing for sure, He's with us. It's amazing how the body of Christ can rally in times of distress. I know there have been believers that have had a surgery and no one was there to bring a meal, I know that there have been brethren that have had hardship and no one was there to lift a helping hand, and this is tragic to say the least. But, I do know that when you serve the Lord, and when you are friendly you will have lots of friends. My wife has brought many a meal over the years and now she who has refreshed many, is herself being abundantly refreshed.
We know that the initial stages of this has brought a lot of attention, but many who have ACC (adenoid cystic carcinoma), continue for 5, 10 and some for up to 20 years, and with this the seriousness of a dreaded disease can wear off and the mutitudes begin to die down, just like when we have a loved one who dies, everyone gathers around in heartfelt sympathy, but a month later the decline is markedly obvious. In all actuality I do hope that this is the way it goes, I hope Maureen is able to go on and on, though still potentially carrying about in her body some destructive cells, yet people forgetting and going on with life and Maureen riding through the storm with flying colors, and then, forget death, the rapture occurs! Now, that would be great. I truly do want to live the rest of my life with her. Having dated as Christians, the Lord having put us together in provable supernatural ways, making it very clear that this was a team for the Lord. Not every relationship has or needs that, but ours special in the Kingdom for His purposes. I want to keep on enjoying my marriage with Maureen, I want to keep on being used by the Lord together. Oh yes, I'm a goofball at times, I've got my flaws, but greater is He who is in me. My love for the Lord and strength in Him, with no confidence in the flesh is what carries me on. I can't imagine life without the one I love. She is my better half, she has helped civilize me, she definitely brings the balance when needed. I know the Lord is growing me through my wife and her wisely coming alongside of me as a helpful bride, praying me up to par. I need those prayers, so she's got to stick around just to keep me in line. But, of course, God alone knows the future, and we trust in Him and are helped. I'm looking forward to a long life together and being used to even a greater capacity to help others know they can have a great marriage too.
Manifest Strength
1 Cor. 4:9 For, I think that God has displayed us, the apostles, last of all, like men sentenced to death. For we are made a spectacle to the world, both to angels and men. (world english bible)
God does display certain of His people, so others may see and learn from their lives. My wife Maureen right now is on display as she has become the center of attention because of a disease called cancer. Many know about her present plight, and many expressively love her. They who have heard her potently share His word and have had the blessed opportunity of being around her vivacious personality, know that she is a strong woman.
Prov. 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. NIV
But, does being a woman mean you can go through something treacherous like this, unscathed? Obviously not. In our human weakness and lack of understanding as to what it means to have her life turned upside down, there are a multitude of human emotion. Will I get to see my grandkids, how will my family handle this, etc? The waves billow over you, the tears come, the thoughts rush to the forefront of your waking hours. The early darkness of dawn has a lonely place in it and the stomach has its own fragility in handling the flood of tripiditious thoughts as she is learning to trust in Him with something so new and unknown, unexpected and violent.
I like being married to a strong woman, though a few times I have enjoyed her being a bit needy, seeing the little girl inside, drawing from her strong and comforting husband. But, my wife truly does have an inner strength, nurtured along and having progressed in the fertile soil of constant praise and prayer, always looking up, living in the face of her Savior, alert to an eternal perspective.
I heard a tell her, "you're so strong," and my wife reponding, "you are seeing His strength." She knows how weak she is and her dependence on the Lord allows His strength to be manifested for others to see. I know we have both felt beat up, we've both had to process this on multiple levels, serious news from authoritative sources. We didn't really know the kind of giant we were facing. But, she got on her female boxing gloves and has been ready to fight for her life. It's painful but Lord willing, fruitful.
We've received some good words from others, that say, "she's going to be O.K., don't worry." Hoping this is from the Lord, but what does O.K. really mean? Paul's friends begged him not to go to Jerusalem, even saying words from the Spirit like "chains await you," but how much of their not wanting him to go, was influenced by their love and fears for him? But of course his famous statement in Acts 20:24 sums it up, "
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus--the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." NLT
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