Pleasantly Surprised

Pleasantly Surprised

My wife had gotten this word that the Lord had dropped into her spiritual ear, "you're going to be pleasantly surprised." Whatever this fully meant, who knows, but it definitely sounded good. A word like that helps you to anticipate better things. After meditating on a few discouraging words, a bit of uplift goes a long way. It's so nice when God speaks, and He is never silent. Worst case scenario portrayed as even more fearsome than before, but we quickly gravitated toward the her doctor's hopeful words of the surgery going more quickly and less intrusive. The mystery is upon us and what will God choose for her? The clock ticks and hope abounds. So many friends on the edge of their seats. Even at this same time yesterday my brother in law with three younger sons underwent a successful and specialized open heart operation. He's in ICU now, the bleeding hasn't stopped yet. She mentioned the stress and to hear my sister's quivering voice was sobering, but still she prayed with me for my wife.

The dynamic or the incremental?

What great verses there are in the old and new testaments about the mighty miracles of God, and we are not wrong for anticipating God to act in that way. No doubt, the hand of God seen in our life's situations helps us know He is here. But, when things don't go quite like we expect, these let downs do not mean God is absent or is powerless. For every person who recieves a miracle there are others who would say that they prayed and nothing noticeably happened.

Just as much as He can perform a dynamic miracle, He also works in more incremental ways. The God of the big things is also the God of the small. He makes majestic mountain ranges as well as fields of tiny flowers. both are beautiful and both reveal His handiwork. The Book of Dueteronomy teaches that God's people could not take the land at once, but rather "little by little," otherwise it might be too much for them.

We love God who parts The Red Sea, but Jesus who makes water into wine, is not any less mighty. If you do not get a parting Red Sea but only see water turned into wine, know that these smaller things are also His detailed involvement in His child's life. We've had so many living saints praying for our family and especially for my wife in her affliction. What are the visible results? Up to this point I believe God is giving peace in the calm, before the backside of the hurricane passes by. All the blatant love of the brethren, has been a powerful touch from the Lord. God's sustaining work in the midst of getting our boat rocked is awesome. His carrying His lambs in His arms, is so sweet. We know and can see that He is very personal in the "He is God," moments, but also just as much Divine in His quieter, more incremental moving of mountains. He shows Himself strong toward those whose hearts are loyal to Him. Our stability in Him has not been shaken, and in undeniable ways He is in the storm. He's in the boat of our lives, as the water is pouring in and we are feeling insecure, yet He is getting us to the other side, just as He promised. Maureen's precious Savior has ministered to her deepest concerns, she is filled with His Spirit, and clinging to His strong arm. He will never disappoint her and she will never be ashamed. Putting her continual trust in Him there are no regrets in looking back.

What a day will bring forth

My dear wife said she has all eternity to spend eternity, but she wants more time here. She really loves life. In fact she has a great life, a wonderful family. As an example of this, our son willingly withdrew from Bible College to be there for his mom during her recovery and treatment.

After 5 weeks since her first surgery, the big day is upon us, Maureen's second surgery is happening. This is the medical means necessary to do the job. Maureen had gotten a word from the Lord that when she awakes after surgery to "embrace the pain," meanin cancer has been cut away, just as when He hung on that painful cross, sin had been done away with. This word from the Lord comforts me, and I believe she'll make it through this, really well.

Two weeks ago we sat with a group of doctors that were factual but dismal. Telling us without the greatest tact that she'll most likely die from this cancer. We thought this depressive spirit might have been the spirit of the L.A. area. On the drive home we both had some tears. I cried mostly because I was sad that she was sad. There have been several times when she was awakened at 4 in the morning, her mind running in several directions, weeping for a moment, with me curled at her side, feeling a few tears down my cheek. There is something about a wife crying that really gets to the heart of a husband. No matter how tough the exterior, no man wants his wife to feel sad, so I think. At times when telling somebody something about Maureen a sad chord had been struck, my eyes appearing watery, and then those drives alone in the car, when think of the what ifs, I can feel a few tears well up. There are some sentimental moments for these things weighing on a husband's heart. We feel the effect of the prayers that we are being carried on His wings. I'm probably more of a typical guy in prayer, compared to what I should be as a pastor, I don't always pray as long or as passionately as I've seen some sisters pray, but I am praying and no matter the outcome, we know God is with us.

What is God doing through all of this? His plans and His ways are higher than ours, but one thing for sure, He's with us. It's amazing how the body of Christ can rally in times of distress. I know there have been believers that have had a surgery and no one was there to bring a meal, I know that there have been brethren that have had hardship and no one was there to lift a helping hand, and this is tragic to say the least. But, I do know that when you serve the Lord, and when you are friendly you will have lots of friends. My wife has brought many a meal over the years and now she who has refreshed many, is herself being abundantly refreshed.

We know that the initial stages of this has brought a lot of attention, but many who have ACC (adenoid cystic carcinoma), continue for 5, 10 and some for up to 20 years, and with this the seriousness of a dreaded disease can wear off and the mutitudes begin to die down, just like when we have a loved one who dies, everyone gathers around in heartfelt sympathy, but a month later the decline is markedly obvious. In all actuality I do hope that this is the way it goes, I hope Maureen is able to go on and on, though still potentially carrying about in her body some destructive cells, yet people forgetting and going on with life and Maureen riding through the storm with flying colors, and then, forget death, the rapture occurs! Now, that would be great. I truly do want to live the rest of my life with her. Having dated as Christians, the Lord having put us together in provable supernatural ways, making it very clear that this was a team for the Lord. Not every relationship has or needs that, but ours special in the Kingdom for His purposes. I want to keep on enjoying my marriage with Maureen, I want to keep on being used by the Lord together. Oh yes, I'm a goofball at times, I've got my flaws, but greater is He who is in me. My love for the Lord and strength in Him, with no confidence in the flesh is what carries me on. I can't imagine life without the one I love. She is my better half, she has helped civilize me, she definitely brings the balance when needed. I know the Lord is growing me through my wife and her wisely coming alongside of me as a helpful bride, praying me up to par. I need those prayers, so she's got to stick around just to keep me in line. But, of course, God alone knows the future, and we trust in Him and are helped. I'm looking forward to a long life together and being used to even a greater capacity to help others know they can have a great marriage too.

Manifest Strength

1 Cor. 4:9 For, I think that God has displayed us, the apostles, last of all, like men sentenced to death. For we are made a spectacle to the world, both to angels and men. (world english bible)

God does display certain of His people, so others may see and learn from their lives. My wife Maureen right now is on display as she has become the center of attention because of a disease called cancer. Many know about her present plight, and many expressively love her. They who have heard her potently share His word and have had the blessed opportunity of being around her vivacious personality, know that she is a strong woman.

Prov. 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. NIV

But, does being a woman mean you can go through something treacherous like this, unscathed? Obviously not. In our human weakness and lack of understanding as to what it means to have her life turned upside down, there are a multitude of human emotion. Will I get to see my grandkids, how will my family handle this, etc? The waves billow over you, the tears come, the thoughts rush to the forefront of your waking hours. The early darkness of dawn has a lonely place in it and the stomach has its own fragility in handling the flood of tripiditious thoughts as she is learning to trust in Him with something so new and unknown, unexpected and violent.

I like being married to a strong woman, though a few times I have enjoyed her being a bit needy, seeing the little girl inside, drawing from her strong and comforting husband. But, my wife truly does have an inner strength, nurtured along and having progressed in the fertile soil of constant praise and prayer, always looking up, living in the face of her Savior, alert to an eternal perspective.

I heard a tell her, "you're so strong," and my wife reponding, "you are seeing His strength." She knows how weak she is and her dependence on the Lord allows His strength to be manifested for others to see. I know we have both felt beat up, we've both had to process this on multiple levels, serious news from authoritative sources. We didn't really know the kind of giant we were facing. But, she got on her female boxing gloves and has been ready to fight for her life. It's painful but Lord willing, fruitful.

We've received some good words from others, that say, "she's going to be O.K., don't worry." Hoping this is from the Lord, but what does O.K. really mean? Paul's friends begged him not to go to Jerusalem, even saying words from the Spirit like "chains await you," but how much of their not wanting him to go, was influenced by their love and fears for him? But of course his famous statement in Acts 20:24 sums it up, "
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus--the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." NLT